So, I get up this morning and step on the scales like always, and it starts to climb and then ... completely shuts off. I momentarily had a bad flashback to my days when I'd step on the scales at my family's houses, and because I was too overweight the scale would completely shut off or flash the words "ERR ERR ERR ERR" over and over again, haha.
I finally realized that my batteries are dead. I plucked them out of the scales because I have to be able to take them physically into the battery store, give them a pitiful look, and say, "Help." Hopefully an update tomorrow!