Have you seen this series? It is absolutely phenomenal.
The documentary follows 4 people, all 600+ pounds, who underwent gastric bypass surgery. It follows them for a total of seven years. It follows their ups and downs, both the successes and failures. While I won’t go into the specifics (you should really watch it), I have to admit it did scare me in a lot of ways.
1.) Skin issues. – I already have excess skin. I’ve thought a lot about skin removal surgery, but after this documentary I’m not so sure I want to. Even after losing all the weight they wanted, they still had places where skin could not be removed. They had lots of scars. And the surgery itself looked more painful than the gastric bypass.
So I’m not sure what to do about my skin. I’m hoping over time a lot of it will recess – along with strength training it will go away on its own – but what if it doesn’t? What if I’ve permanently damaged my body and will always be afraid to go out in a bathing suit, or sleeveless shirt?
2.) In a way this next point is comforting (that others fear this too), but it also hits home that I will forever be scared of being a fat woman again. By no means am I saying I’m not fat now, I’m just less fat than I was at 340 pounds. I don’t worry all the time that I’m being stared at. And one of my biggest fears is being fat again. I have nightmares about it.
3.) Facing the demons that got me 340 pounds. This is really scary because I don’t know why I got to 340 pounds. When you watch shows like this they always seem to have a reason: daddy issues, mommy issues, molestation. I don’t. I had a great childhood, I’m relatively normal; I have a caring family, job, friends… I have incredibly low self-esteem, but maybe that’s just from the weight itself? I’m not sure.