Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Prior Self Vs. Current Self

I had one of those lovely days yesterday where I was forced to face my past self. Friends & I are getting ready for our annual Halloween party, and we were supposed to cough up pictures from the years past. Lucky for me, a friend of mine forwarded a picture of me @ Halloween two years ago, and I was completely floored again about the way I looked. (I plan on eventually showing you guys, I want to get my current Halloween picture so I can side by side it..anyway..)

A co-worker overheard my conversation about my prior self, and he asked to see the picture. No big deal, right? Unfortunately, in my head, it was a big deal. This particular co-worker has never known me as fat. And because of that, little bells and alarms were going off in my head. I honestly verbalized the following, "You didn't know me this way. I don't want you to know what I used to be." I eventually caved and showed him the picture, but I was still all kinds of self conscious.

I can't decide if that was a logical reasoning or just my stupid woman head crap. Do you ever get nervous about showing your before pictures? Everyone else thinks I should show it proudly like a badge of honor, but honestly it's someone that I was that I am trying to bury.


  1. I love showing my before pix (there aren't many of them, as I shied away from the camera for most of those years, however). The looks of astonishment and reactions from people who didn't know me then is still such a rush.

  2. someone said my fat pic looks "like the girl who ate Lisa" lol most people are shocked as hell when I tell them I used to weigh 100 pounds more... and then I think the people that always knew me that way probably still think of me that way. But no, I don't look for reasons to show one of my few fat pics. And there's some people who missed that section of my life that I hope never see them.

  3. I'll never forget I was sitting in accounting class... a man walked in and started talking to my teacher. You could tell she was curious, wondered why this man was so friendly, asking personal questions, talking about a previous class. She finally said "how on earth do I know you." He took out an old license and handed it to her. OMG, you should have heard her scream, stand up and hug him. He had lost 300 lbs. His appearance so completely different, but you could see the affection between him.
    Our outer appearance is truly only an outer shell. Be proud of where you are now, because you've certainly earned it. You're remarkable. :)

  4. I think it's pretty logical. But I still think you should be proud of what you've accomplished and show it off via showing what you use to look like.

    Sometimes, being where I am (which is no where near where I should be) I sometimes wish people here (in TN) did know what I use to look like. I think because they don't, they don't give me much credibility as someone trying to be healthier. Where as the folks in MS who saw me go from 320 to where I am now still give me props for what I've done. But I think I've gotten stuck there (kinda like Kenlie, or those who've lost a big chunk but need to keep going).

    Can't wait to see your side by side!!

  5. I'm not sure how I will react once I've lost more weight. Part of me might want people to know how I've lost an entire person worth of weight. Another part of me might not want people to know I was ever that big to begin with. Can't wait to find out which it is.

  6. I love to see before and after pictures!! It is such a big motivation to see how much people change doing there weight loss... Also it helps myself remember how I have change by lossing my weight when I look at my old pictures :D

    You ROCK!