Thursday, March 24, 2011

On Being Called Fat

Yesterday a friend at work was complaining about her life in general, and how depressed she was. I thought for a moment and then asked, "Why are you depressed? You have lots of things going for you."

In all honesty, she does have a lot going for her. She has a great job, a great house (I know, I've been there!), 2 healthy kids, and a husband. She takes at least 3 vacations a year, and she always wears the latest fashions. She answers, "A stranger and my husband have called me fat this week."

It turns out they didn't really call her fat, but it was implied both times. Her husband was nagging her on the foods she ate and telling her she needed to get up and go back to the gym (and not in the nice supportive way.) The stranger was a young college girl who was supposed to give her a spray tan. The young girl told my friend she "wouldn't feel comfortable giving her a spray tan."

She is a big girl just like me, so we often have frank conversations about weight. We both know we're fat; but we don't want others saying it. For some reason, if we talk about it - it's okay. If others talk about it, it sends us into a spiraling dump. I feel bad for her, she's an emotional eater and this recent hurt has sent her running back to food.

The really bad part is there is nothing I can say to her; I would have reacted the same way probably.


  1. Wow how mean spirited of both the husband and the stranger! I would react the same too.

  2. I am sad for your friend

    Let's hope she can pull herself put of the funk- easier said that done


  3. That's so hard. A friend of my parent's let me sit on the back of his motorcycle once and his other friend yelled "I bet it's easier to pop a wheely now!" Worst. Moment. Of. My. Life. Even if she pulls herself out of the funk, and even after you've lost a lot of the weight, those things sting forever.

    Anyway, GREAT BLOG! Love it.

  4. ....oh wow :( What goes through people's minds when they say these things?!
    and thank you :)

  5. Awful. So glad my husband would never say anything like that. We're hard enough on ourselves, we don't need others to confirm what we are thinking.