Previous: 161.4
Current: 161.8
Gain: +.4
No real change on the weight front, and I'm okay with that.
I've been reading a lot of hate towards people who "eat like rabbits everyday" and never let themselves cheat, etc...
I think it's funny with all the different people in the world (ie: black, white, homosexual, heterosexual, etc.) that these people still think every one fits into the same mold.
I'm a binger, always have been. If I do not keep myself in check every day, I will become that blogger that gets the comment, "Oh, it's such a shame, she gained all her weight back and is now trying again.."
Last Friday I had a binge. I was feeling sad, but the binge wasn't a direct result of some emotional moment. (I'm sure it had something to do with my emotional state, but didn't come directly after an issue.) I decide to let myself have it, I knew I was doing it, so I just decided to write down what I ate. Here is the not so pretty side of an eating disorder:
2 boxes of cereal. (Already half eaten, but still finished off the boxes- Frosted Flakes & Cinnamon Toast Crunch)
2 sleeves of whole wheat crackers
Unknown amount of peanut butter
8 tootsie roll pops
2 cadburry creme eggs
1 crunch chocolate rabbit I found in the back of the cabinet from Easter
2 100 calories packs of something
2 vanilla cappuccinos
I can't even make this stuff up. All total, it was probably over 5000 calories. The next day, the scale said 169, and I was way more depressed.
And then, then I thought of one of my favorite quotes of all time: "Why do we fall, Bruce?" (Batman)...and the answer? "So we can learn to pick ourselves back up again."
I really like that quote too. I love Michael Caine as Alfred!! He's the best.
ReplyDeleteTomorrow is a new day (and new month). Good luck to us both.
I also can't stand people who think eating healthy means eating rabbit food. No...I believe in moderation. There's a lot of judgement being passed lately including lifestyle choices. I think people are just intimidated by things they are unfamiliar with. They also need to justify their own actions by putting out other people's choices.
Have a good one!
Yup. Me too. I know exactly how this feels because I cannot tell you how many times I have binged as well. While we don't like that part of ourselves it is still there. Peanut butter was always a binge food of choice and I would also eat entire sleeves of crackers. I would just eat whatever was there because it wasn't about the food. I also have this fetish about even numbers when on a binge. If I had eaten 3 doughnuts I would eat another to make it 4. I don't know what's up with that. It's something that has to run its course. I have eaten until I was spent. Keep calm and carry on.
ReplyDeleteGreat quote! I was formulating my own mea culpa post this AM (fell off the wagon earlier this week, not binging but eating steadily enough that I stalled out any weight loss this week on Allan's Challenge) - maybe Al's giving me a pass due to death in the family, but I'm back on plan today...
ReplyDeleteI was a binger in my late teens/early 20's so I know where you're coming from (if I haven't commented before, great work BTW)
I also love that quote (well and the whole movie...but that is a great quote).
ReplyDeleteI'm a binger too, so I totally get it... AND I'm so glad you are moving past it. And also, now that those crappy cereals are gone, don't buy any more of that shit..ha! And the fact you still have cadburry creme eggs in June (almost July), is pretty freakin' amazing. ;)
Keep going girl...tis but a flesh wound.
Hi Rae, People who spout the moderation crap to everyone do not understand that there is no moderation to bingers. I also used to binge every few days, quite like you describe above. I had a binge, though not quite as big, on father's day. I was pretty scared about that, and rightly so. I have a hidden iceberg of MANY years of binging in my past. I really like my eating rules because, for the most part, they keep my head above water.
ReplyDelete(((((Hugs)))))
ReplyDeleteThank you for showing the not so pretty side of being a binger. I have never recorded one of my binges before... Maybe I should, it may just keep me in check.
ReplyDeleteYou chose the same kinds of food I would choose for a binge plus I would add ice cream. I can't eat cereal or crackers in moderation so it's best not to have them around. Sometimes I can keep peanut butter to one tablespoon servings, but if it gets bad, I fill the jar up with water and toss it. I've never written about a binge on my blog, and thankfully they are rare these days but still a possibility. You are not alone. :)
ReplyDeleteGlad that you shared that cause it means I'm not the only one. New day.
ReplyDeleteRae Rae...time to do a serious clean out of your refrig/cupboards and maybe write up a shopping list from which you do not deviate. If it's not in the house, you can't eat it -- I don't think you will make the effort to go obtain binge foods; you're way past that point. You'll work through the urge consciously and get over the hurdle.
ReplyDeleteYou're are so right. The very next day, I proceeded to do a mass exodus of the house. I had thought it was all gone, but scarily had crept back in with kids & holidays and whatnot, it sneaks up on you. I don't even LIKE chocolate bunnies. Or Tootsie Roll pops. I didn't think I could binge on cereal, and I knew I had PB issues (Oh I got that under control...right!) The only thing I can binge on now is maybe brown rice & eggs.
DeleteRae Rae, you'll get right back, no worries!
DeleteNorma - has there been a huge flame war or something? Can you invite me to your blog - I was on the forum, too.
My binges have become rare, thankfully. Not keeping binge food in the house helps a lot! But I have been known to shop for a binge, ugh. Thanks for sharing your experience :).
ReplyDeleteThanks for being real at least. Happens more than we think, behind doors where nobody can see.
ReplyDeleteJust here to say hi and that I missed you lately. :D
ReplyDelete