Weigh-In 7/31/2012

Previous:              192.6

Today:                  193.4

Loss:                        +.8

 

Eep, haha. It isn't the strong finish to July that I had hoped. Just because the cheesecake SAYS sugar free doesn't give you an open door policy.

 

It's back on the wagon I go! Goal for August is 184. I need to make up some ground!

 

Water, Water Everywhere (Or needs to be..)

I've been reading my favorite guy Al (Yay, he's back!) and something he's been writing about struck a nerve with me. And after reading the following quote, I know it's divine intervention:

Keller recommends doubling your water intake. “You need lots of water to keep flushing stuff through your system. Almost all of us, even the most conscientious drinker is probably under hydrated. Water is actually important for metabolism,” which is why she encouraged Hathaway to stay hydrated. (SHAPE Magazine)

Okay, okay universe! I get it! I've been non-existent on my water drinking. (I refuse to count coffee and for the most part unsweet tea. I need water.) Starting tomorrow, 97 ounces of pure water go into this body. Anything else in the form of unsweet tea and coffee is bonus.

Weigh-In 7/23/2012

Previous:              193.8

Today:                  192.6

Loss:                        -1.2

 

And... we're back in the running for 190 by next weigh-in. 2.6 is a lot, I'm not going to be super bummed if I don't hit it, but I should be at least close.

 

I am heading to Tunica MS for the weekend, aka land of the buffets, to do some gambling. WILLPOWER GO!

An Irrational, Illogical, & Introspective Post. (I'm a woman, I can do that.)

As I’m nearing my goal of 165 (although it seems to be slowing down a bit…), I find myself actually getting more and more anxious. I think that’s perfectly illogical, but I can’t shake the feeling. I spent so much of my time when I was fat daydreaming about if I weren’t fat. Did anyone else do this? I would have internal dialogue that always started with, “When I’m not fat..” or “If I wasn’t fat..”

For the most part, a lot of that dialogue is starting to see results. I can sit in an airplane seat comfortably. I can go through a turnstile without fear of being stuck. I can be in line for a roller coaster and not have to worry the whole way up about if I don’t fit having to cross over in shame. I can find clothes, I can buckle my seat belt, I can walk for reasonable distances without being winded.

Unfortunately there is another side that I’m not sure I will see results without some additional assistance. I always thought once I was a normal weight, it would magically fix all my personality flaws because surely my personality flaws were connected to my fat. Yeah, not so much I’m finding. I’m still fighting with insecurities out my ear.

I still feel like people stare at me, in the bad way. I still feel uncomfortable walking into a new situation without someone there I know to lean on. I still feel like I’m not good enough for people to desire, or want to be friends with, or just be in the same room with me. Isn’t that silly? I still require the approval of others to find any worth in myself, and I hate that. I want to change that so badly, and I thought once that if the fat were gone, it’d magically appear.

But it’s not. I think that’s the hardest lesson I’ve learned while I was losing the fat: losing the fat doesn’t fix it all.

Sometimes, no words are required.

Weigh-In 7/16/12

Previous:              194.0

Today:                  193.8

Loss:                        -0.2

 

Pewp. Oh well, it is what it is. 2 weeks left in the month, enough time to put a decent loss on the books for July. =)

 

Have a great week, my lovelies!

My Gyno Hugged Me This Morning.

Weird as it may be, the following is a rough transcription from my annual visit this morning:

Dr. comes into office and stands. He stares at me.

Me: Hey Dr. X, how are you?

Him: I'm sorry, I thought you were another patient.
He sits down at his computer and stares some more. He looks up from his computer. Him: You ARE the patient I thought you were. What happend!?!

Me: I lost weight Dr. X!

Him:  Lap Band? Gastric Bypass?

Me: Um, no. Just regular old eating less and exercising more!

Him: Nothing. He just stares. Finally he says, Was it under a doctor supervision?

Me: Nope, I did this on my own.

Him: You are such an inspiration!

I can't tell you how happy hearing that made me feel. The rest of the exam was mainly about discussing my diet, how much I'm exercising, what I'm doing about excess skin. I was happy to hear him tell me that I should first get to my goal weight and give it about 6 months to a year before deciding about skin removal surgery. He says a lot of the skin (with toning exercises) can go back to normal.

The end of the visit comes.

Him: Well, your uterus is a lot easier to feel!

Me: Nothing. MY FACE TURNS BLOOD RED.

Him: Can I give you a hug?

Me: Of course!

I don't recall ever being hugged by my doctor, lol. It was a good visit.

Weigh In 7/09/12

Previous:              196.8

Today:                  194.0

Loss:                        -2.8

 

Yeehaw. I am in sight to say goodbye to the 190's this month! It's strange to think I only have 29 pounds to go until my goal (revised). It's funny - I'm starting to think about what I'll do then - and I'm feeling a little lost. (I know, I'm odd.)

My New Toy

This is a long post incoming, just be prepared. J

I loathe exercise. There. I finally said it.

I thought for a long time that I just hadn’t found “that one special exercise for me.” So I tried out a lot of exercises. Walking, running, swimming, golfing, tennis, weight lifting, and aerobics just to name a few. I just didn’t enjoy hardly any of them.

So then it dawned on me that the majority of Americans (once myself included) are getting fat for two reasons (mostly): increase in calories (fast food, crazy food portions, sugary drinks) and a lack of movement (which can include exercise, but mostly we just have become more sedentary).  In lieu of exercising, I changed my routine to walking (for fun, in the outdoors, with my family) and a general increase in movement.

Exactly what does a “general increase in movement” entail? I suspect my husband adores me because I have taken on majority of the household chores. Putting up clothes, folding laundry, doing dishes, cleaning, making beds, making dinner just to name a few.  I knew my biggest problem was at work. I work at a desk job for 8 hours a day.  That is a crazy amount of just… sitting.  I walk 15 minutes at 10AM and 3PM every day, but I still feel like I could do more with my wasted sitting time.

So yesterday, I bought this:

I needed to find a way to move while working. I researched and found the tread-desk. Have you all seen how cool these things are? The people who use them walk 1-2 MPH all day long. They burn up to an additional 1000 calories PER DAY! Unfortunately, they cost $1,000 plus. I did find out that my company is test marketing them at their corporate offices, but that wouldn’t trickle down to the branch offices for a long, long, time, even if it ever makes it out of the test market.

So since I don’t have an extra $1,000 (more like $2,000) sitting around, and because my company loves to test market ideas for years, I decided to buy a cheap mini-cycle. Today, July 3^rd, marks exactly 4 months until my vacation. I know to lose the next 30 or so pounds, I am going to have to work at it. There comes a point where sticking to 1200 calorie intake per day isn’t going to be enough, and I have to find a way to export some of those calories to create a bigger deficit. 

So here’s to four months, and reaching 165 pounds.

Weigh-In 7/2/2012

Previous:              200.0

Today:                  196.8

Loss:                        -3.2

 

Who knows what happens in my body, but whatever happend it decided to kick it into gear last week. I am still not reveling in the "omg I'm under 200!" until I no longer fear I'll see that 200 again, haha. I don't want to see that number any time of day I weigh.

 

So I have about 30 pounds to go until the government doesn't consider me overweight. That's exciting.