My First 5K

I’m rather under-the-weather today, which I totally blame on exerting too much energy for my 5k. J

It was race day. The mini-marathon runners took off about fifteen minutes before the 5k’ers did. They lined us 5k’ers up; the runners in the front, the I-might-run-or-jog-or-walk’ers in the middle, and the certified walkers-only in the back. My sister and I were in the middle, waiting for the bell to ring.

I blame the early time and nerves, but I got a little slap-happy waiting for the bell. My sister was talking to a co-worker at the event, and I was perusing the crowd. There was an older lady beside of us. I do not exaggerate when I describe this woman: she was mid-50’s, wearing a sun dress and leather clogs, and she had a neck brace on. I leaned over to my sister and boldly exclaimed, “If we do anything today, we are going to beat that lady. That’s our goal.”

Bell rang.  We took off running/jogging, and my sister noticed that we could no longer find the woman in question. “Oh, she’s behind us,” I say. And sure enough, she was behind us. I use the term “was” fleetingly, because the next thing I see is a neck brace flying past us like we were walking.

My sister and I look at each other and bust out laughing. We increase our pace, and pass up neck-brace lady. We continue on this pace, and once again I see a neck brace go flying past us. At this point, we lost it. We knew we were going to get beaten by the neck-brace, sun-dress, leather-clog wearing lady. As we laughed, we heard a guy beside us exclaim to his wife, “See, even she’s passing us!”

We probably lost good time because we were laughing so hard. “You don’t get to pick our goals anymore,” she says.

Sagging

Recently I was told by my 8-year-old nephew that I most certainly must be at least 40. "Why is that? I don't have wrinkles!" I asked.

“No,” he continues, “but I see bags.”

Other than really putting me in the mood to grab some cucumbers and schedule a face lift, it really started my thinking about my weight loss. For a long time I was complacent with losing a little at a time, not in a real hurry to get to my goal weight as long as it was trending down. But really – I want to be able to enjoy my weight loss and still be relatively young!

Men & women take this whole aging thing in totally different directions, and that is so frustrating. I saw a man this morning who was probably in his mid-forties, maybe early 50’s, and he was hot. I mean I took a double-take hot. That doesn’t happen for us women very often – it is all downhill after 30. We have to worry about face sagging, boobs sagging, and general all-over sagging. If you add in the weight loss, which produces skin sagging, I’m fighting a losing battle!

I want to be able to go into a store, buy a smokin’ hot normal-size outfit, and be noticed in it. And for that I am willing to double my efforts from trying to lose 1 pound a week to 2 pounds a week. That small effort is the difference between 240’s at the end of the year vs. 210’s at the end of the year.

Just as a note, when I hit 30 I decided to start my anti-aging campaign. Thank you, daily retinol & SPF 15!

Not the worst complaint to have...

So, I know it is one of those complaints that you hear and roll your eyes but...

I absolutely hate how weight is coming off of me. Places I don't want to lose the fat just yet is going faster than expected, and places that I would love to see no fat on are keeping a tight hold.

The weight seems to be coming off the quickest in my boobs. I don't want that! I like my boobs! However, it doesn't seem to want to come off my arms at all. All I want is to be able to look decent in a sleeveless shirt - is that too much to ask!?!

At this rate I'm going to be a fat-armed little boobed woman. With fat thighs. And little ankles.  That is just not appealing at all. ;)

I believe the little 6 year old draws me best...

The Actual Pot-Luck & Admin-Professionals Day!

First of all, Happy Administrative Professionals Day to all you Administrative Professionals out there! We gave our lovely admin some flowers and a card to show our appreciation today. She is actually the reason I decided to form the "Bikini-Ready" pot luck, she recently was diagnosed with diabetes and sometimes feels left out of our "normal" pot lucks.

I did bring my taco soup, and it was a hit. All told, I still feel like I could puke, but if I did I would puke healthy food. That should count for something, right?  I've had blackberries, strawberries, taco soup, and spinach salad. For dessert, a friend of mine brought THE MOST DELICIOUS no-fat, no-sugar dessert, I kid you not. I would recommend this so simple recipe to anyone.

White Chocolate Fudge Mousse

Ingredients:

• 1 box (1 ounce) Sugar Free Instant White Chocolate Pudding (JELL-O)
• 1 1/3 cups 1% low-fat milk (or skim milk)
• 1 cup Light Cool Whip, refrigerated (or similar whipped topping)
• 1 box (1 ounce) Sugar Free Instant Chocolate Fudge Pudding (JELL-O)
• 1 1/3 cups 1% low fat milk (or skim milk)
• 1 cup Light Cool Whip, refrigerated (or similar whipped topping)
• 1/2 cup Light Cool Whip (optional garnish)
• Dusting of cocoa powder (optional garnish)

Preparation:

1. Beat white chocolate pudding mix into 1 1/3 cups COLD milk in mixing bowl on medium-low speed for about 2 minutes. Scrape sides of bowl halfway and continue mixing. Stir in a cup of Cool Whip, mixing by hand just until blended. Pour into individual serving dishes. You can use the back of a spoon to smooth the tops.
2. In same mixing bowl, beat chocolate fudge pudding mix into 1 1/3 cups COLD milk in mixing bowl on medium-low speed for about 2 minutes. Scrape sides of bowl halfway and continue mixing. Stir in a cup of Cool Whip, mixing by hand just until blended. Pour into individual serving dishes. You can use the back of a spoon to smooth the tops.
3. Cover individual dishes with plastic wrap or foil and keep in refrigerator until ready to serve. Add a dollop of Light Cool Whip to the center of each and top that with a sprinkle of cocoa powder if desired.

Yield:
8 servings
Nutritional Information:
Per serving: 104 calories, 3 g protein, 17 g carbohydrate, 2.8 g fat, 2.5 g saturated fat, 0 mg cholesterol, 0 g fiber, 346 mg sodium. Calories from fat: 24 percent.

Office Pot Luck

It is our monthly pot luck @ the office tomorrow - normally a horrible time that I loathe and binge, but I organized tomorrow's pot luck! So, tomorrow's pot luck theme is "Bikini-Ready Pot Luck" and it includes only good-for-you foods.

I am bringing taco soup, and although I have never tried it, it seems fairly easy. It's a crock-pot recipe, of course it's easy!

CROCK-POT TACO SOUP

--2 cans of kidney beans

--2 cans of pinto beans

--2 cans of corn

--1 large can of diced tomatoes

--1 can tomatoes and chilies

--1 packet taco seasoning

--1 packet ranch dressing mix

--1 lb browned ground turkey or hamburger

--shredded cheese and sour cream for embellishment (optional)

 

The Directions:

--brown meat if you are going to use it

--drain fat and add to crock pot stoneware insert (the meat. not the fat.)

--sprinkle seasoning packets on top of meat

--drain and rinse the beans and add

--add the ENTIRE contents of the corn and tomato cans
--stir.

Cover and cook on low for 8-10 hours or on high for 4-5. I think the longer you cook soup, the better, so if you have the time, opt for cooking on low. Stir well, and serve with a handful of shredded cheese and a dollop of sour cream.

Without the sour cream or cheese, it has about 200 calories per serving. Eat the taco soup with some veggie/fruit tray, and it's a good pot luck!

Spontaneous

So hubby and I sat down and had a huge heart to heart - about issues going on with ourselves and issues with us together - and I think it worked out well for me. I'm trying my hardest to focus on my issues.

I am working through a book that basically says I need to worry about my life, and let others live their own. I don't think that means not work on issues in a marriage, but I think that means instead of laying blame on someone else, I need to stop and evaluate what my contribution to the problem is, and fix my issues.

One of the other lightbulb moments for me in this book (which I will probably reveal at a later time - I need to work up the courage to share some things on my blog) was that no amount of control is going to help any situation. Control is a farce. We have no control over anything but ourselves. I can only fix what's wrong with me, and offer support to those who want to work through their own problems.

Anyway, being spontaneous is something I have learned recently that I need to work on. Actually I am not spontaneous at all. It's partly due to my weight issues, but I feel like if I have some control over what is happening or going to happen, I can manage. If I plan where I'm going, I can determine if I'll need to wear something to try and hide my fat, or if I need to avoid somewhere (hello, roller coasters) that I won't fit, or figure out the best place to stand so the least amount of people notice me (hello, social parties).

I am going to do one spontaneous activity this weekend, that is my plan. Baby steps!

Happy Weekend!

Happy Friday!

It's a dark, rainy, blustery day here, and I don't want to be working! I would love to be at home in my pajamas, reading the new Lincoln & Child book that's calling my name. I love to read - but when you have 2 little ones running around your ankles I find that it's getting harder and harder to find the time. When they go to bed, I'm usually not far behind.

I am going to *try* and start logging my food for realz, not necessarily just in my head. Usually during the day I'm calculating up the totals, and I might be approximating here and there. I might have better luck if I can write it down and actually see the totals on paper. Maybe that 40 calorie coffee creamer doesn't look so appealing on paper, right? Maybe I'll skip the coffee creamer when I see it on paper, and see that I can do without it.

Anyway, I hope you all have a great weekend! And, just in case you were wondering...

Breakfast:    Oatmeal               290 (I have a soft spot for McDonald's new Oatmeal...)

                        Milk                     100

                      Coffee Creamer     40

Snack:           Thin Crisps          130

Lunch:            Salad                   200

                      Lean Cuisine        230

Snack:            Milano                 120

Dinner:           Hot Dog              346

                      Tater Tots            127

Total: 1587

The Parent Trap

As I mentioned before, I'm currently on my way to gamble a bit of my tax return away. As it so happens, my mother is a heck of a lot of fun gambling, so she is going with us. Tonight is a short lay-over in the city she lives, and then we will head that way tomorrow.

It is amazing what junk food you can find exploding around this house. Without trying hard, I have already located the following:

1. Double-stuff Oreos
2. Chips-Ahoy
3. Pringles
4. Cosmic Brownies (which pack a whopping 280 calories per brownie)
5. Tons of Snickers Bars
6. Whole Milk (Whole milk mom, really?)
7. A jar full of M&Ms

My parents don't eat this stuff. No, they keep it around for us kids & their grand kids. "How's the diet going?" my mom asks after offering me whole milk & cookies.

I guess that's what parents are for!

Legacies & Bequests

This past week my husband and I finally sat down with our lawyer and created not only our living wills, but also our dead wills. It’s a hard thing to do, I’ve found, facing your mortality. However, there are two little people depending on us now.

It actually has refueled my fire to lose this weight. I hadn’t lost my previous fire, mind you, but I have gained more fuel. I would much rather be able to take out the guardians from my will in twenty years then have to rely on them.

A new study out shows women start to feel old at 29. (You men are different sorts; you don’t start to feel old until late 50’s.) I don’t know if I feel old at 30, but I definitely no longer feel that I am immortal. I no longer have that teenage ideal that I’m going to live forever. I think that’s part of the reason I started losing weight; I realize I can’t eat, eat, and eat and expect to live into my 80’s or 90’s.

I have to do this for myself, my kids, and my husband. I also want to use my 401k. J

On Being Called Fat

Yesterday a friend at work was complaining about her life in general, and how depressed she was. I thought for a moment and then asked, "Why are you depressed? You have lots of things going for you."

In all honesty, she does have a lot going for her. She has a great job, a great house (I know, I've been there!), 2 healthy kids, and a husband. She takes at least 3 vacations a year, and she always wears the latest fashions. She answers, "A stranger and my husband have called me fat this week."

It turns out they didn't really call her fat, but it was implied both times. Her husband was nagging her on the foods she ate and telling her she needed to get up and go back to the gym (and not in the nice supportive way.) The stranger was a young college girl who was supposed to give her a spray tan. The young girl told my friend she "wouldn't feel comfortable giving her a spray tan."

She is a big girl just like me, so we often have frank conversations about weight. We both know we're fat; but we don't want others saying it. For some reason, if we talk about it - it's okay. If others talk about it, it sends us into a spiraling dump. I feel bad for her, she's an emotional eater and this recent hurt has sent her running back to food.

The really bad part is there is nothing I can say to her; I would have reacted the same way probably.