I'm Done.

I’m done.

No, not with weight loss, but I am done with what I’m doing. I have hit a wall, smack in the face, and I realize that I’m not happy losing the way I am. I’ve thought a LOT about it – a lot. I’m losing 4-5 pounds a month.

In total, I had 160 pounds to lose. And that was just if I wanted to get to the high end of “normal”, at 175 for my height. Actually I think it may be 170 that I should hit. At 5 pounds a month, that would be 32 continuous months. Only, this hasn’t been continuous. I’ve been at this since January of 2010, and I’m at 267. I’ve lost 68 pounds in, let’s say, 20 months. That’s less than 4 pounds a month, and that means it’s going to be even longer than 32 months.

Why? Why would I wait to be 2 ½ years older before I lose weight?

So I’m re-vamping, with the help of a dear friend. And I’m getting my fat ass up in the mornings at 5:30, and walking for 30 minutes. And I’m getting my fat ass back out at night, and walking for an hour.

I can worry about maintenance when it comes. I need this crap off me now, I hate it. I hate this fat more than anything hunger can ever do to me.